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EMPTY BOTTLE of SMOKE by Conon Parks – a riotous romp through Seattle’s Underground

In an effort to escape his shadowed past, work-a-day dweeb, Walter Curmudgeon flees from Portland to Seattle where he carefully inserts himself into the anonymous corporate shield of Seattle’s financial district. But, like the U.S. Mail service, former transgressions have a way of ferreting out their target, and Walter’s latest load of junk mail drives home the message that his safe haven has been breached. Wedged in between lottery scams, Ponzi-style chain letters and Soviet sex enhancement ads is the first of several warnings that “payback” is both brutal and inevitable.

Once again in the role of the hunted man, Walter runs underground – straight into the bosom of the Manifesto Party, a disorganized band of anti-establishment types bound by the common ethos of “Free Guns and Dope.” Housed in a crumbling historic building, the Manifesto Headquarters shares space with the infamous “Museum of Indecision and Hysteria and WE B Art Gallery.” It’s in this pit of diverse artistic detritus that Walter hooks up with Mac, a PTSD Vietnam vet whose “combat oriented” neural wiring makes him a perfect ambassador for the disorganized band of Seattle underground n’er-do-wells.

Mac’s inherent paranoia sucks Walter further into his own web of altered reality. And Mac’s Mao-cum-Baader-Mienhoff world view, backed-up by his “always carry violence in your back pocket” mantra, make for a wicked ride as the two jump into the chaotic build-up of Seattle’s cataclysmic World Trade Organization meetings.

In a stream-of-consciousness prose style reminiscent of Ginsberg’s howling, debut author Conon Parks pulls the reader into the world of the collective disenfranchised, albeit one with an absurdist twist. And with a clever sleight of hand the author guides his seemingly inconsequential hero, Walter “everyman,” through a world of madness on a quest for life’s meaning.

An Empty Bottle of Smoke is a witty, jumbled mash-up of anarchist philosophies and pub trivia in which the disparate threads of culture swirl in a literary vertigo. It’s “Trainspotting” meets “Brazil” in this darkly comic romp that takes its hero from de Tocqueville’s “nanny state” to full-blown anarchy and reminds the reader “we really only have the rights we can defend.”

March 11, 2017
Don’t Cry Over Killed Milk: A Damon Lassard Dabblin Detective Mystery by Stephen Kaminski – Cozy Mystery/Amateur Sleuth

Amateur sleuth, Damon Lassard, has earned enough money in the Japanese professional baseball league that he retired at the age of 31. He now finds himself volunteering at the library, hiking around Tripping Falls State Park, and dabbling in solving mysteries much to the chagrin of the local law enforcement.

And, yes, the title is a pun, and there are plenty more throughout this quick and entertaining read.

He has the requisite female friend who would like to be more than friends but settles for being a sounding board for now, a love interest that is not interested in him, a police detective friend who would prefer Damon not get him into trouble any more by investigating crimes around town, and a keen knack for figuring out murders.

The victim in this book is Jeremiah Milk, Damon’s hermit of a neighbor who suffered the tragic loss of his wife and infant son within hours of each other one fatal night.

Damon first gets involved when Jeremiah comes to him at the library to get help for a suspicious recurring insect infestation of his and others neighbors’ crepe myrtle trees. Not much of a mystery to solve, but when Jeremiah’s body is found at Tripping Falls State Park where he worked, Damon starts his dabbling into the mystery even though his police friend – and his friend’s boss, Lt. Hobbes, have strongly forbidden Damon’s involvement. Well, any cozy reader knows that those kinds of instructions are meant to be ignored.

The story takes several interesting turns that eventually lead to an unexpected ending. The writing is fast paced and the supporting characters all contribute to the realistic feel of the town of Hollydale near Arlington, Virginia. Many of the clues are extremely subtle and some didn’t come into the story until much later, requiring careful attention to all the details throughout the book.

Because this book is the second in a series, some of the details about Damon, his friendship with Gerry, and his tense relationship with Lt. Hobbes may have been covered in more detail in the first book. Regardless, these missing details do not take away from the quick pacing and clever tone of Don’t Cry Over Killed Milk a satisfying cozy mystery read..

“Who knew insect infestations lead to murder? But they can – especially if you’re Damon Lassard – amateur sleuth – with plenty of time on your hands to figure it all out. Don’t Cry Over Killed Milk by Stephen Kaminski will have you in tears – from laughter!” – Chanticleer Reviews

March 11, 2017
The Other Side of Life by Andy Kutler – World War II/Civil War, Time Travel

The Other Side of Life by the first-time author Andy Kutler will take you by surprise. This time-spanning book covers two major wars in United States history: World War II and the Civil War – but not how you might think. Kutler pulls this off with an intriguing storyline and well-orchestrated action sequences that put us in place and time.

The story opens on the deck of the battleship Nevada, part of the U.S Naval fleet on December 7th, 1941. The Japanese fighters rip apart the battleships moored in place. During the attack, Commander Malcolm (Mac) Kelsey is severely wounded – and this is where the story gets interesting.

Kelsey encounters a certain Mr. Leavitt who offers him a choice: stay right where he is in his broken condition; or, go somewhere else – a place known as The Other Side of Life – where all of his memories are wiped clean. A do-over, if you will.

Kelsey chooses the latter, but this other side of life is no better – and in some respects worse – than before. He’s fighting for the Union Army in the Civil War. But something has gone wrong: he has retained all of his memories, making him a man outside his own time.

For four years Kelsey fights for the Union Army, and throughout this period, he struggles (understandably so) with trying to make sense of why he is where he is, and how this all come to be. Upon the conclusion of the war, Kelsey encounters Mr. Kelsey again and faces another choice.

That choice is perhaps the most interesting and most jarring aspect of the book. The author never does explain quite where it is that Kelsey has gone. A brilliant move! Any reader having even the slightest bit of religious background or spiritual awareness will quickly associate this with heaven – or maybe purgatory – or even nirvana. Using this ambiguous device enables readers to ponder questions like, what would they do in a similar circumstance – the same thing, or maybe something different?

A captivating historical military story that blends genres and crosses through time and space. Kutler has a flare for describing situations at hand – his descriptions of the Pearl Harbor attack are impeccable – and he brings in multiple characters to help the story unfold. The story may be a bit unwieldy at times, but in the end, Kutler manages it well even providing an unexpected twist making The Other Side of Life is a satisfying and worthy read. Highly recommended.

March 2, 2017
Fit to be Dead by Nancy West – Cozy Mystery for clue fans

Aggie is the author of the “Stay Young with Aggie” column and today she decides to follow her own advice. After all, she’s well over 30, admits to a few extra pounds, and looks ahead to growing old with sheer fear. She pulls into the Fit and Firm Fitness Center with the thought that she might be able to improve her social life along with her figure. Once inside, she receives a guest pass and another kind of pass – from a gorgeous blond who introduces himself as Pete Reeves and offers her a tour of the club. She declines the latter and heads for the locker room.

As she enters the swimming area, however, she spots something strange at the far end of the pool. It’s a body. And it isn’t moving! Aggie rushes to the rescue and not a minute too soon. Her yell for help brings instructor Sarah Savoy to revive the young woman, Holly. To their combined horror, the women spot an electric cord snaking across the pool. Hard to say what would have happened to Holly first – drowning or electrocution – if Aggie hadn’t been there. Was it an accident or…? Such questions always make Aggie’s feet itch.

The next day at the gym Holly confesses to Aggie that she had recently given her newborn baby girl—born out of wedlock—to an adoption agency. Trying to swallow her concern and sorrow, Aggie goes to the locker room to shower and dress. But soon she’s hearing screams. She rushes outside just as the medics arrive. Aggie knows two things: it’s Holly and she’s dead.

Aggie decides she owes it to Holly to find out what happened. She’s certain that the hit and run was a second—this time successful—attempt on Holly’s life. But questions remain: Who? Why? As the column writer becomes sleuth, her spunk and determination return, along with her unique madcap approach to life.

As Nancy West finished her award-winning Nine Days to Evil (2012), something about one of the supporting characters, Aggie Mundeen, wouldn’t let her rest. This character seemed to demand that West make her the protagonist of a new book. Thus, Fit to Be Dead was created!

West crafts her characters with considerable expertise and an extensive vocabulary. West knows how to turn a phrase and how to keep you turning the pages. Additionally, this author has the keen knack of slyly tucking in clues so that they slip past readers at first, then pop up later. Thank you, Nancy West for crafting the Aggie Mundeen mysteries!

March 2, 2017
JUMP OFF the SHELF – HOW to MAKE YOUR WORKS GET NOTICED by Diane Sillan Isaacs

BASIC MAXIMS for CREATING COMPELLING CONTENT

With 25 years in the film production world, I worked with scripts as the blueprints. I am now focusing on books, but story is story is story.

The same guidelines I used in Hollywood, apply in publishing.

How can you stand out in a sea of new releases- scripts or books- estimated to be 2 million each year?

How can you entice readers to find your book, pick it up and read it?

Whether you are published by the Big 5, hybrid houses, indie imprints or by self, start with these basic maxims for creating compelling content to increase your odds of being discovered:

Start with a bold, big idea/a high concept– something bold, a twist, an irony. Imagine its own movie poster. Are you asking a profound question, setting forth a new reality, diving deep into the human psyche, setting up a comedic situation, writing a biography – know your hook and build from there.

Write the log line <33 words. Your story reduced to its essential core. Try out versions with friends/colleagues to test if they get the true meaning of your book. Once it has been vetted, memorize it. Practice in the mirror so when someone asks you about your book… voila! without hesitation, you have this compact, crafted and compelling logline. Then, put the logline in a prominent position in your writing space. As you are writing, the logline acts as the guardrails to keep your stream of consciousness on track. All satellite storylines revolve around that core statement.

Walk in the skin of your main character. Before writing your book, imagine your character in different scenarios and challenging dilemmas that are outside the projected book’s storyline. Just observe how he/she reacts to trauma, betrayal, falling in love, danger, as it informs how your lead character thinks and acts in the world. Crawl inside his/her skin.

Oftentimes, writers observe a character as if from across the room and paint the characters from the outside. Instead, start on the inside until you really know your protagonist- and antagonist too. These imaginings create an unspoken backstory and uniquely color the voice and reactions of your lead, thereby making him/her memorable and distinct. Characters are why people turn pages, so intrigue your readers with a rich and nuanced characters.

Front load your story with intrigue, conflict, tension, wonder, the oh-my-goodness. Don’t hold back on the first paragraph or the first chapter. Today’s world is accustomed to videos under 5 seconds and interactions less than 140 characters. The story needs to hook the reader from the first sentence. To that point, no prologues or backstories to start your book off. Jump on the train that is leaving the station. Backstories that are necessary to drive the story forward can be worked in later, but only if they are relevant and essential to knowing the character today.

Create a GREAT Cover. Yes, we do judge a book by its cover. Humans are judging machines and first impressions run deepest. Not that we are superficial all the time…but we definitely are when browsing bookstores and online titles. Covers project the books’ genre, emotion, energy and attract different types of readers. Successful covers are provocative: ironic, funny, intriguing, emotional, brash, curious, colorful- whatever emotions are congruent to your book. You are writers, not graphic artists. Your cover needs outside help. I see far too many times, authors are worn out and at wallet’s end when they get to the cover expense, but it is your most valuable sales force.

At the upcoming CAC 17, I have a spicy session on how to make a great Story Cocktail- the ingredients to shake, stir and add a twist to light up your story and ultimately, your book sales. Hope to see you there! – Diane

Diane is the Creative Director at Chanticleer Reviews & Media.

Diane Sillan Isaacs brings more than two decades of experience in film and television industries as an executive film producer, president of production for Don Johnson Productions at Universal and Paramount pictures, president of development and production for Green Moon Productions where she produced films for Antonio Banderas and Emma Thompson.

Diane is also the executive creative director of Luna Design NYC. She and Kiffer Brown co-founded SillanPaceBrown Publishing + Production + Agency, LLC.

February 26, 2017
The Spider and the Stone: A Novel of Scotland’s Black Douglas by Glen Craney – Historical Fiction/Scottish War of Independence

Steeped in the early struggles for Scottish independence, Glen Craney’s The Spider and the Stone combines fact, folklore, and imagination to recreate the life of one of the country’s most storied heroes, James Douglas.

As a young teenager, James was confronted with the barbaric cruelty of the English occupiers. King Edward, known as Longshanks, would stop at nothing to quell Scottish rebellion—humiliating, torturing, and slaughtering innocent civilians along with Scottish combatants striving for the freedom and the right to rule themselves.

Just as he begins to grapple with the reality of his country’s plight, he meets and falls in love with a girl named Isabelle Macduff and determines to win her, despite the fact that she is promised in marriage to a rival of the Douglas clan.

The book opens in the middle of scenes depicting the exploits 0f William Wallace – Braveheart, followed by a heartbreaking loss to Longshanks at Falkirk, ending with the gruesome murder of Wallace.

Cue the return of James, who is back from France where he learned the art of war from the Knights Templar and is ready to fight. He and Robert the Bruce step into the breach and continue the assault on the English invaders.This is the stuff legends are made of, and Glen Craney does an excellent job bringing the tale to life. Written in lush prose with battle’s gore informed by the historical record and a scattering of erotic scenes with the decorum appropriate to the times, Craney’s offering keeps the reader solidly immersed in the late 1300s-early 1400s. He deftly crafts the coldness of the castles and the warmth of campfires sprinkled with colloquialisms redolent of the time and place.

Craney admits having taken some liberties with the known facts, which are few, about the Scottish Wars of Independence and the major players; he has matched Isabelle with James, for example, though others have postulated an affair between her and The Bruce.

The book’s title references two important elements of Scottish lore: the Stone of Scone, a necessity for the crowning of monarchs and sometimes said to be the Biblical Jacob’s Pillow; and the “spider” whose industry and apparent refusal to stop spinning her web no matter what obstacles she encountered so impressed and inspired Bruce (and in this version, James also) while in captivity.

Craney’s attention to detail in both high concepts and simple conversations, make history come alive.

“Cinematically enthralling and historically compelling, Glen Craney’s The Spider and the Stone is a must read for lovers of James Douglas, the fight for Scottish Independence, Braveheart, or Robert the Bruce.” – Chanticleer Reviews

February 25, 2017
Ghost Toasties (Good Vampires Book 4) by Karl Larew – Humour/Satire, Vampires, Literary

Volume 4 of a trilogy? That’s no typo! It’s just that those Bad Vampires had more mischief up their sleeves—and of course our Good Vampires couldn’t let them get away with it, especially when it seemed the Baddies had a Plot to Destroy Civilization as We Know It! Readers of Volumes 1-3 know that author, Karl Larew couldn’t leave his readers in the dark…he had no choice but to write a Volume 4. Say hello to Ghost Toasties!

You Newbies, who haven’t YET read the first three volumes, need to know that there are, indeed, vampires on our planet. The Bad Vampires engineer criminal plots to get human blood (which they cruelly gorge on, leaving their victims dead), creating really weird sorts of mayhem throughout the globe. Even Good Vampires have a metabolic need for small amounts of blood, but they have good human friends or, in some cases, human spouses who willingly, even lovingly, meet their needs in a sexy way – and sometimes by serving real Bloody Marys!

The Good Vampires do their damnedest to halt the Baddies’ criminal schemes and to extinguish the Bad Vampire population. That’s why the Association of Good Vampires was created. It’s headquartered in New York City, in the Manhattan mansion of their chief, millionaire Mr. Arleigh Granville. The New York Association’s highest-ranking special agents are Mr. Granville’s vampire wife Inge (converted from Bad to Good Vampirism), Lance and his human wife Carol, and Nigerians Nigel and wife Becky, who are aided by bodyguards Gladdy and Dizzy, along with their wives, twins Helovah and Delivah.

This cast of characters was considerably expanded at the end of Volume 3 by the arrival of five(!) babies—Arleigh Jr., Mary Jane, Reginald, and Pixie and Trixie—born within minutes of each other to the three special agent couples and the two bodyguards and their wives!

Our story begins with Lance wakening Carol from a nightmare. As Lance tries to calm her, they hear a knock at the door. It is their friends and fellow agents, Nigel and Becky, inviting them to go out for a drink. But, as often happens, the phone rings. Inge, Arleigh’s assistant as well as wife, asks the agents to attend an emergency meeting the next morning. “Bring the babies,” she tells them. “Miss Overy (Arleigh’s secretary) can take care of them.” (Isn’t that what secretaries are for?)

Somehow the Baddies have learned about the meeting and two men with pistols kidnap the two couples as they walk to HQ with their babies in strollers. Gladdy and Dizzy, of course, come to the rescue, followed by their wives and babies. Once at the meeting, they learn that at least part of the Baddie plot is in its early stages in Hawaii. But how can the special agents go to Oahu when they have babies needing to be fed and diapered?! It is decided that only the two primary agent couples, and Becky’s pet wolf, Wolfie, will fly to Hawaii in Mr. G’s private plane, leaving Mary Jane and Reginald at the mansion with the Granvilles and Miss Overy. Once in Honolulu, they will enlist the aid of Molly Houlihan and her mother, Holy Moly (friends of the Good Vampires from earlier adventures who now run a whore house called the Ukelele Girl) and Beatrice, a prostitute with a heart of gold (well, maybe silver).

But first they visit the laboratory of Dr. Lester Griswold, Ace Scientist of the Good Vampire Association, who presents them with his newest gadgets, including an Ectoplasmic Dissolver Ray Gun that toasts ghost ectoplasm to a crisp, turning it into “ectoplasmic ghost-toasties” (Aha!). It can also destroy the electronic triggers of nuclear bombs, which the Baddies are apparently collecting for their plot to blow up special targets around the world.

After the agents pick up their reinforcements at the airport, they head for Bernie Ernie’s house near Opana, where they find a machine labeled Ectoplasmic Synthesizer. When Bernie unsuspectingly arrives, they capture him. He agrees to help, spilling the beans, including news that the Big Boss is called Mr. Very Big (big help!). But who is Mr. Very Big, where is he, and will he continue with his plan to destroy the world? There’s only one way for you, dear reader, to find out, and will you ever be surprised!

No need to bite your fingernails, however. You know you can trust Karl Larew’s Good Vampire special agents to complete their assignment and get home to their BABIES, especially after an urgent call from Chief Granville: “All the diapers are dirty, and the washing machine’s broken down… COME HOME AT ONCE!”

“The Bad Vampires strike again, but this time our Good Vampires have a secret weapon to make Ghost Toasties in the much anticipated and hilarious fourth “spooks and spoofs” book in Karl Larew’s Good Vampire trilogy.” –Chanticleer Reviews

February 25, 2017
Spotlight on Non-Fiction Book Awards

We are excited to announce the expansion of Chanticleer International Book Awards to include Non-Fiction Book Awards focusing on Instruction and Insight.

Do you have a Non-Fiction Instructional or Insightful book or manuscript that the world needs to know about?

Look no further! Your category has arrived.

Chanticleer International Reviews is proud to announce our latest Book Awards for:

Instructional and Insightful Non-Fiction:

Alternative Remedies
Art & Photography
Business & Money
Craft & Hobby
Culinary
Entertainment
Garden & Home
Health & Fitness
Lifestyle
Nature & Environment
Politics & Social Issues
Psychology
Religion & Spirituality
Science, History, & Education
Self-Help
Sports & Outdoors
Technical & How To Guides
Travel Guides

We know you have it – so, polish up your work and send it in for the 2017 Chanticleer Non-Fiction Book Awards! We will begin accepting your book or manuscript submissions starting on April 30, 2017. Please check back in mid-April for more information.

Narrative Non-Fiction authors — not to worry, we still offer our original JOURNEY Book Awards for Narrative Non-fiction!

Don’t delay! Enter today! Manuscripts and Published Novels Accepted.

February 24, 2017
The Atheist and the Parrotfish by Richard Barager – Religious/Spiritual Fiction/Literary/Medical

Can the souls of the departed live on in their transplanted organs? Read Richard Barager’s edgy novel, The Atheist and the Parrotfish, and find out!

Dr. Cullen Brodie receives word that a donor is available for one of his patients, Ennis, a sixty-three-year-old cross-dresser desperately in need of a new heart and kidney. Cullen learns that the donor happens to be his boss’s daughter-in-law, Carla, who never recovered from a car accident.

At his three-month follow-up appointment, Ennis declares that his donor came to him in a dream and that Carla’s organs have exerted influences on him “beyond their intended bodily functions,” such as unexplained sweating and flushing, chattiness, a love for jazz as well as beets.

The possibility of Carla’s transmigration (passage of a soul into a living body) sends chills through Cullen. How can this be?

The uncanny “spiritual” experiences in Ennis’s life spark religious questions within Cullen’s mind, particularly ones directed toward an unresolved conflict embedded in his past.

Ennis has some other issues, as well. But his (or more correctly, Carla’s) take shape in an obsession with locating the donor’s family. When he does, however, that familial connection stirs up personality clashes between Ennis and Elaine (Ennis’s feminine side), and Carla.

Amid the turmoil, Ennis is aware of Carla desperately trying to relay a critical life-changing message to her family, but he needs Cullen’s help to deliver it. The real trick will be whether or not Ennis can convince Cullen before Carla destroys Ennis altogether.

Coming-out-of-the-closet late produces in Ennis a multitude of inner struggles and unsettling childhood memories. In the midst of his personal chaos, Ennis has amazing moments of clarity (with the help of Carla) to see through people and their faults.

Cullen, on the other hand, finds himself between a rock and a hard place dealing with Ennis’s ongoing commentary about Carla. “When all else fails, listen to your patient” is Cullen’s default motto to identify patients’ diagnoses. With Ennis however, Cullen finds this motto difficult to live by, especially since it is both extremely unusual and disconcerting for Cullen to even consider the possibility of life after death – or the very existence of a soul. As a result, Cullen’s attempt to apply reason to an unreasonable situation leads him to revisit conflicts from his own past.

Contradiction is a key narrative theme in this work. One story coiled within another builds while Barager slowly and masterfully weaves the two seemingly opposing accounts together. Chapters alternate between characters dealing with past and present situations, and scenes that include shocking, and at times, heart-stopping endings.

Pages are replete with rich descriptions of religious and ethical conundrums, philosophy, and theological ambiguities. The latter, readers may not recognize until much later in the story.

Rising author Richard Barager pulls from his daytime job experience as a nephrologist to create a gripping human-interest account packed with complex characters and spiritual paradoxes.

“A fascinating story, The Atheist and the Parrotfish, which merges age-old spiritual questions with the latest in modern medicine, is replete with complex characters and riveting pages that brim with religious and ethical conundrums, making Richard Barager’s novel a thought-provoking top-of-the-line read.” – Chanticleer Reviews

February 23, 2017
Thieving Forest by Martha Conway – Women’s Historical Fiction

The story is set in 1806 and follows five sisters who are on their own after the recent passing of their parents. The five are faced with the choice to remain and run the family store in the tiny settlement along the edge of Ohio’s Great Black Swamp or pull up stakes and join the youngest sister living with their aunt in Philadelphia.

By the banks of the Great Black Swamp, one woman fights to save her sisters caught between two cultures in Martha Conway’s tale, Thieving Forest.

The world is filled with such events that when the right author develops characters and plunges them into a real-world timeline, history comes alive. Martha Conway has succeeded in doing this in her debut novel, Thieving Forest.

Conway turns the story up a notch early as four of the older girls are kidnapped by a band of Potawatomi Indians who raid their home. Seventeen-year-old Susanna is left behind, and though shaken deeply, quickly comes to her senses and determines to rescue her siblings.

Trust is the theme as the story unfolds. The kidnapping is somewhat of an unexpected occurrence as the family had good relations with the natives. The issue is complex and Susanna finds herself questioning who she can trust along with the sad realization that sometimes people are not always who they claim to be. The sisters are eventually reunited, but as is true in real life, things can never be the same.

Martha Conway paints a stunning portrait of life in the early days of the United States expansion into the West. She has done her research, and it shows as she delves into Native American tribes and the relationship they have with the European settlers.

Detailed descriptions of day-to-day life, including the hardships experienced, are fleshed out with complex and engaging characters. A tale of self-discovery, personal growth, romance, family ties, loyalty and more in this book readers will find hard to put down.

February 22, 2017

Chanticleer Book Reviews